Use Your Words
by WaitingformyMunkustrap
Summary: Jennyanydots is sick of all the violence between Munkustrap and Macavity, so she takes a stand. A useless one-shot.


"Misto!" Jennyanydots cued the magician in a sing-song voice. In an instant, Munkustrap was thrown back into his chair by an invisible force and handcuffed to it, just moments before his claws made contact with his archenemy's face. "Damn it, Misto," he growled, glaring across the table at his the infamous Hidden Paw, who also happened to be his brother, Macavity.

"Hey!" Macavity cried, when he found himself handcuffed, as well. "What's this for? I was just sitting here, like a good boy."

Munkustrap rolled his eyes. What game did this idiot think he was playing? It's not like he was convincing anyone in the room that he was actually a good boy. In fact, it made Munkustrap sick to his stomach to imagine the term "good boy" and Macavity having any association whatsoever.

Just to drive his point home and further annoy his enemy, Macavity pouted like a kitten and asked pathetically, "If I'm a good boy, will you let me go sooner?"

Misto smirked. "If you're a good boy, I'll keep you later."

"That's enough, Misto," Jenny said curtly. "You may go."

"And miss this? You must be kidding."

Jenny just shrugged, turning her attention back to her two captives. "Now, I bet you boys are wondering why I've brought you here."

"Actually," Macavity interjected, "I'm thinking of clever ways to kill you and your entire family."

The older queen didn't pay him any mind, and went right back to talking. "You see, I've noticed that, every time you two run into each other, you immediately try to kill each other, but that's not a very productive way to solve our problems, now, is it?"

"No, ma'am!" Misto piped up, earning himself another annoyed glare from Macavity and Munkustrap.

"I am tired of you grown toms acting like kittens," Jenny explained.

"So? How is handcuffing us to these chairs on either side of a table, with a bright light shining on us as if we're in a bad crime drama, going to help?" asked Munkustrap.

Jenny smiled broadly. "I'm so glad you asked! You see, I've brought you here today so you and Macavity can talk out your problems!"

"Huh?" the two toms asked in unison.

"Munkus, why don't you start?"

Munkustrap sighed. He just couldn't believe, after all these years, Jennyanydots was forcing him and Macavity to talk out their differences, just like that. However, there they were, so he figured he might as well try. He thought out his words carefully. "Macavity," he gently began. "You suck."

Macavity scoffed, "Your little tux friend wishes."

"What of it?" Misto asked casually, examining his claws.

"Leave Misto alone, you son of a pollicle!" Munkustrap cried, trying to lash out at Macavity. He was stopped, of course, by the heavy chair to which he was attached.

"Or, you know...don't," Misto murmured, winking at a thoroughly confused Macavity.

The infamous criminal turned to Jenny. "Can you get the tux out?" he asked. "He's starting to make me uncomfortable."

"Aw, you can do it, Mackie," the tux himself assured him. "Just imagine me in my underwear."

"Misto, honey, you're a cat. You don't wear underwear," Jenny reminded him.

"Should be easy, then."

Munkustrap sighed, "If Sparkles is done seducing the Napoleon of Crime, can we get this over with?"

"For once, I agree with the idiot," growled Macavity.

"I'm not an idiot, you're an idiot!"

"No, you're an idiot!"

"See?" Jenny said, smiling. "This is good! You're communicating!"

"You're obviously the idiot," Munkustrap snapped at Macavity. "You let Demeter go."

"Well, at least I'm not mated to _your_ moldy leftovers."

"AT LEAST I DON'T LOOK LIKE A RED SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!"

Macavity gasped and began to slowly circle the table, dragging his heavy chair behind him. "You take that back!" Every word was punctuated by the scraping of the metal chair against the concrete floor.

"Misto!" Jenny called again. With a single snap of the magician's fingers, Macavity was unable to take another step.

"Catdammit! I hate you!" the criminal shouted. Misto just giggled, "Oh, I know."

Jenny stepped in the middle of the argument. "Okay, boys. Now, let's try to make 'I' statements. Take the responsibility onto yourself."

"Fine." Macavity turned back to Munkustrap. "I hate your stupid face, because it reminds me that I come from an ugly family."

"Good, Macavity," Jenny cooed.

"Well, I hate your voice," Munkustrap retorted, "There's a reason you didn't sing, when you crashed the Jellicle Ball."

As the two toms continued bickering, Jenny sauntered over to stand by Mistoffelees. "Look at them," she sighed happily. "I did a good thing, today."


End file.
